Turning 30!!

Guys, can I tell you a story.

Last year for my birthday, we had a few things planned. I was gonna hike in the morning and then get lunch with a coworker. Malachi had planned some things and it was gonna be super fun. Well as the day approached, our sweet 3 little kiddos all got really sick. I can't remember exactly what their symptoms were, but it was rough. So we ended up canceling the birthday plans and said we'd just reschedule it all. That felt like the best plan because I wanted to take care of my babies.

But I tell you this. It was the loneliest birthday I have ever had. My favorite little humans were sick and in pain, my friends and family stayed away because of that, and I was at home alone all day. I was definitely looking at the day very selfishly and being self centered and I think that's also why it was such a hard day. But for real, it was a hard and lonely day.

Sadly, all those plans we rescheduled never ended up happening either. So that added to the sad birthday memories of turning 29 lol.

Fast forward an entire year, an entire trip around the sun. I put in loads of effort so Malachi and I could go on a trip together that would be over my birthday. It would be a combination trip... My 30th birthday, our 8th anniversary, a "babymoon" and a sprint triathlon for Malachi. I cried so much over this possible trip and felt like we couldn't find anyone we trusted to watch our kids. Also cried so much feeling like such a burden to ask for help, but also feeling so strongly that Malachi and I both needed this trip.

By the love of God, my mother-in-law and adopted sister, we found a way! They pulled my heart out of the gutter and said they'd be willing and able to help with our kids so we could do this little trip. 

I tear up just thinking about that. I am so grateful for their help!

Now this past weekend has been that trip. Malachi and I got to go to Morgan, Snyderville, Kamas and Park City. Malachi raced in his triathlon and saw 2 good friends there! We ate amazing lobster and clams flown in from Maine. We got "ultimate" pedicures that our feet desperately needed lol. We saw the new Mission Impossible 7 movie which was such a good, clean, awesome movie! And overall, we got so much quality time together to reflect, sleep, not plan, be spontaneous, be in nature, and relax. 

We both feel so rejuvenated in our roles and lives. We both carry heavy burdens day to day. And the fact that this could happen... I just feel so grateful this could happen this year for us.

All of this to say, what a drastic difference the last 2 birthdays have been. 

I am grateful for them both though. In one, I was made stronger to carry my burden. I buckled down and did what was required, even if it was lonely and hard. Those things are asked of us and we need to do them. Yet, in another, I was blessed to have a break, rejuvenate, refocus, and realign myself with Malachi, our family and God. 

Guys, life is hard and so good. We need it all. We get stronger, we get a break, we get wiser, we get wisdom, we get relief. It all has a place. It's suppose to be like that in this life and as long as we turn to God in it ALL, it will all be for our benefit and learning. 

So here's to being 30!!  

I am very grateful to be getting older! The next 30 years of my life will be the hardest and best times I will have ever seen. And I am here for it all. I know there is a God who is in charge and there is life after this.