Night and Day!

         Truth time.

        Having a 20-month old at church for a 1-hour quiet meeting, while having 2 other children who are 3 and 5, is the most challenging thing I have ever done. Hands down. No competition.

        Initially because of the obvious. My kids are still learning to be quiet, sit reverently, whisper, etc. 

        Solution... Bring lots of treats and toys. Yes, but then conflicts arise. You're gonna just let your kids eat a ton of junk food every Sunday? Why are you bringing toys? Then they won't listen to anything. Shouldn't they just learn to hold still and listen? 

        Next, just give them your phone. Then they'll sit still. But what about all that screen time? Well and then they are for sure not going to hear anything from the meeting. And not to mention the judgement that that'll bring... 

        Or better yet, just stay in the foyer. But that's so terrible, they should be in the meeting... Blah Blah...

        It's like you can't win no matter what you do.

        Cue memory from exactly 7 days... aka, the PTSD from it.

        I show up to church with 5 minutes to spare. I'm thinking, this is good. Less time sitting, literally exactly like 65 minutes, I can do this. My sweet husband is on the stand and I know he's praying for me. Me and my 3 kids take up our row and are settled. Not even 2 minutes later and one is fighting with the other, the other wants snacks already, and the littlest one is screaming bloody murder. I help for 10 minutes and then another minute of silence. But then it's right back into the crazy. This continues for like 20 minutes and then my baby slaps me right in the face. It's so loud, it echoed and I'm pretty sure everyone saw. My worst nightmare. I am so embarrassed. I want to leave and never come back. Wait until my kids are older. It's just too much all alone. Then came an angel, Mele Mavae. I have not asked her permission to be named, because I'd rather apologize later lol. Ya'll need to know her. She came and sat by me and helped with my two older kids while I managed the baby. I eventually had to go out and calm my baby and let him run around for a minute. Then I went back in with 10 minutes left because my husband was going to talk and I wanted to hear it. We survived the rest of that meeting, but I wanted to run away so bad. I wrote in my journal that night that it was officially the worse Sunday meeting I have everrrr had! I had some major blessings happen later that day that saved me. They are sacred to me and I'm so grateful. I knew I'd need to just keep trying my best. But it was definitely the worst Sunday meeting.

        Now let's go to this week. Night vs Day ya'll.

        I actually showed up to church 20 minutes early and didn't give my baby a nap, hoping he will be tired and sleep during sacrament. I got the back two rows which I was SO excited about. My sweet angel Mele Mavae sat by us again and I got another angel, my mother-in-law, Moana Sitake. She sat in the row in front of me with my two older kids and I sat behind with my baby. Thus, I can help with all of them, but then those bigger kids can have more space while I hoped to rock the baby, behind them. It didn't go perfect, not even like I had planned. But sheesh, it was a miracle to me. I enjoyed sacrament. I felt the spirit. I was happy despite the struggle of still helping 3 kids be happy and be reverent. I pulled out my phone for a few minutes, used all the toys, lots of snacks and candies. Sweet Mele provided wonderful toys that helped so much. I accept all the judgment or negativity that comes with those things. But guess what, we could be a family together and try our best to worship our Savior. I could just bawl... Today vs Last Sunday... Just shockingly different. Still hard, still difficult, not perfect, not a dream. Yet, it was better, and I could see more positive things and I got SO much help. Thank you Mele and Moana. I can never express my gratitude enough. Bless this day forever! I am sooooo grateful.

        Now don't get me wrong... The struggle is real. My husband always prays for me and I feel it. But I never gave up. 

        Other momma's of young kids, USE YOUR VILLAGE. Don't be ashamed. They will be blessed and one day you will be that for others and you'll love it! Also be kind to yourself. Try your best. Anyone else, please be kind. We're trying here and would love your uplifting comment. 

        May your Sunday be wonderful and your meetings not stressful lol.




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